I am sure by now you have seen in some magazines the great lazy pastime of slack lining. It is all the rage; it has now over taken climbing as the pastime of choice for the pot-heads in Camp 4. Seriously. 

This time-wasting sport was invented by Californians who had more time and marijuana than motivation to work.  If you are reading this article you are probably the same, and I am ashamed of you.


Making the puley
foto by© JirkaS

So, if you are going to be an indolent bastard, you should do it right.  Here are some tips from one who has spent some time undercover among the stoners of California.

How to:

1. Screw all the pulleys and big wall kit.  What you need is two sturdy trees, a length of one inch webbing, slings, some card-board, and two karabiners. 




Pull!!
foto by© JirkaS


Distances



Detail ot the pulley
obr. by© JirkaS

2. You are a hippie, “like, save the trees, man.”  Wrap the trees with cardboard before you put your slings around them, especially if it is not your tree. 

3. Note that if you want to put up a 10m line, you may need up to 20 meters of webbing to set it up and tighten it properly. 

4. The trick to the set up is that you create a pulley system that also maintains friction against itself.  You accomplish this by weaving the line inside itself as you rig a simple pulley.  See pictures below.  The more times you put the line through the two karabiners, the more mechanical advantage you have- and also more friction.  Two times should be sufficient. 

5. It helps to have two people to tighten the line, because I know that stoners don’t often go to the gym, or actually climb for that matter.

6. Tie it off with a simple over hand knot tightened against the karabiner. Recheck this knot occasionally.

7. Tighten the line, walk it a couple of times, then retighten it.



foto by© JirkaS

Tips on walking the line:


1. 1. Buy some marijuana.  Better yet, grow that shit- but call it by some hip name like, “fruity pebbles,” or “the gnar.”

2. Smoke that shit.  Don’t be cool, glass pipes are for loosers.  Take your shoes off.  You can use your crusty, unwashed toes to better grip the line. Besides, all hippies hate wearing shoes and underwear. 

3. Don’t look at your feet, focus at the far end of the line, or a knot on the tree in front of you.  It’s like when you get see sick, the best cure is to look at a fixed point, like the horizon. 


 
4. You are not a cat, though you may be so high at this point that you think you are. Your natural balance is with both feet next to each other, like how you walk.  As soon as you take a step, take your back foot off.  Don’t make the mistake of leaving both feet on the line at once.  It isn’t “natural,” and you want to be close to nature, don’t you? 

5. Walking a line is like paddling a kayak in white water: every step is a corrective action.  If you are off balance, take a step forward rather than trying to regain it in the same place.



6. Chuan-Tzu says be like bamboo.  In a typhoon stiff trees break, where the flexible bamboo bends with the wind. Bamboo.

7. It helps to keep your arms extended, like the pole of a tightrope walker at the circus.  This should come naturally.  Do you remember grade school physics, or has the chronic put such a hurtin’ on your mind?  Think Newton, If you swing your arms wildly to correct poor balance, there will be an equal counter action, and you will look like Jackie Chan in The Drunken Master.  You don’t know that movie?  I thought all stoners liked old B-rate Kung Fu flicks. You want to look like the nonchalant surfer type; bend your elbows so you can keep your hands near your head. 

8. Once you get some experience, nothing in the above article applies to you; you will be so Rasta that you will be able to walk the line in high heels, blind folded, wearing nothing but a ladies slip.  What? 



Balance
foto by© JirkaS